iamalexia











{18/12/2011}  

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.

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{15/12/2011}   Combat Jealousy
image

Dislike other people? Too much comparison? Roll eyes with repulsion? Blame for misery and despair?

Sounds familiar?

Here are the few ways to cope with jealousy:

  • Be self-controlled enough to avoid jealousy.
  • Pray for peace about who you are and what you have.
  • Discover joy in your life.
  • Love people.
  • Practice faithfulness.
  • Show kindness, goodness, and gentleness to others.
  • Have patience.

Read this somewhere days  ago. If you will simplify these ways, you can find it in Galatians 5, where the fruit of the Spirit listed. Remember the fruit of Spirit?

  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Forbearance
  5. Kindness
  6. Goodness
  7. Faithfulness
  8. Gentleness
  9. Self-control

We all know that jealousy usually takes the place of something that we are not willing to accept about ourselves. Allowing it in our lives, we’re just shunning our insecurities—nothing more. We’re just getting rid of our personal problems in the form of jealousy. But you know what? Applying these virtues (above) and through God’s help, we can resist jealousy in our everyday lives. We can survive without it. Keep in mind: Jealousy is not worth a dime.

Be BLESSED—happy and contented! 🙂  -shekinah



{15/12/2011}   ….
                                 I get jealous easily.

It’s because I don’t want nobody to have you but me….



{15/12/2011}   WAYS TO COPE WITH STRESS
by Paula Alexia Peterson on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 12:37am

1.   Get up 15 minutes earlier.

2.   Prepare for the morning the night before.

3.   Don’t rely on your memory…write things down.

4.   Repair thhings that don’t work properly.

5.   Make duplicate keys.

6.   Say “NO” more often.

7.   Set priorities in your life.

8.   Avoid negative people.

9.   Always make copies of important papers.

10. Ask for help with jobs you dislike.

11. Break large tasks into bite sized portions.

12. Look at problems as challenges.

13. SMILE more.

14. Be prrepared for the rain.

15. Schedule a PLAY TIME into everyday.

16. Avoid tight fitting clothes.

17. Take a bubble bath.

18. Believe in you.

19. Visualize yourself winning.

20. Develop a sense of humour.

21. Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better today.

22. Have goals for yourself.

23. Say HELLO to a stranger.

24. Look up at the stars.

25. Practice breathing slowly.

26. Do BRAND NEW things.

27. Stop a BAD habit.

28. Get stock of your achievements.

29. Do it today.

30. Strive for excellence, nnot for perfection.

31. Look at a work of art.

32. Maintain your weight.

33. Plant a tree.

34. Stand up and stretch.

35. Always have a Plan B.

36. Learn a new doodle.

37. Learn to meet your own needs.

38. Become a better listener.

39. Know your limitations and let others know them too.

40. Throw a paper airplane.

41. Exercise everyday.

42. Get to work early.

43. Clean out one closet.

44. Take a different route to work.

45. Leave work early ( with permission).

46. Remember you ALWAYS have OPTIONS.

47. QUIT trying to ” fix” other people.

48. Get ENOUGH sleep.

49. PRAISE other people.

50. RELAX, take each day a time……..YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO LIVE.



{12/12/2011}   i don’t know why..
Woman holding scissors and winged child

by Paula Alexia Peterson on Friday, July 29, 2011 at 9:42pm

Today a little one ran up to me tripping over her feet..

a big goofy grin plastered on her face as she hugged my legs.

i couldn’t help but smile down at her…

Then suddenly i couldn’t help myself,

tears started to fall from my eyes..

the mom kept apologizing over and over..

i told her it was ok.

Then i walked past them and just kept crying…

**sigh** and still i don’t know why?



{12/12/2011}   happy (?)

i’m happy and i think it’s truth. Then i am sad and say, no, THIS is truth.

i see things simply and say it is truth,then see them complicated and say that MUST be truth.

But if truth always lies somewhere in the median,

if i am as a fully honest person both somewhat sad and somewhat happy,

and if reality is both simple and complicated,

how can i ever really discern truth?

My mind is built for polarities.

A series of contradictions with no compromise, no middle ground, no peace.

if i want happiness and fear sadness,want simplicity and fear complexity, then i am

equally biased towards both ends.

My moral compass is guiding me in circles while insisting it is on a straight path, and i

am as lost as if i were to give up and sit in the dark until i died.

So the only thing that remain that is truly true is the irresponsible, irrational, relentless

impulse to continue forward in search of light. While a small part of me remains utterly

and consistently convinced that no matter how many times i cross the same landmarks along the path

and no matter how hungry the darkness grows, there is light, just up ahead,

if only i strive for it.



{12/12/2011}   inner peace

Beats of creation cascade through our bodies within an ever- rising crescendo as we keep in synchronicity with the frantic pace of existence. Life is beautiful, present and volatile an exquisite release that makes us move forward. Yet in every life sudden cracks appear that we need to bridge so that our natural luminescence remains flowing. Each of our lives commands attention from us first and foremost -and then from others. The selfishness of our personal well being must be the first prayer when we awake and our last when the day ends. Peace unto ourselves must be the supreme fact that drives our existence. It’s only then that the world around us becomes calm.

Today let me make that promise to myself….

And let me not forget that promises are sometimes kept…can be kept…must be kept….




{10/12/2011}   so inlove

this really changed my mood…

cools me down..



{09/12/2011}   in loving memory
by Paula Alexia Peterson on Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 6:26pm

Falling Without Notice

Author: Blaine Anthony Anderson

Sorry I had to leave you without notice,

My wings were ready before I had a chance to say goodbye.

My time on Earth was relieved by God,

My Guardian Angel duty in Heaven has started.

Sorry I had to leave you without notice,

My wings were ready before I had a chance to say goodbye.

God sent me an Angel to take me by the hand to

Begin the journey into the unknown.

Sorry I had to leave you without notice,

My wings were ready before I had a chance to say goodbye.

Don’t think of me being gone or far away,

I’m only a prayer or thought away.

Sorry I had to leave you without notice,

My wings were ready before I had a chance to say goodbye.

You will hear me whisper joy through the

Tranquility of the winds and see me smile through the brightness.

Sorry I had to leave you without notice,

My wings were ready before I had a chance to say goodbye.

Don’t be disappointed by my goodbye; a farewell is necessary

Before we can meet again.

Sorry I had to leave you without notice,

My wings were ready before I had a chance to say goodbye.

***In loving memory of my sister -NIKKI ***

in time we will meet again….

—a little fall of rain

can’t hardly hurt me now,

You’re here, that’s

all I need to know,

And you will keep me safe, and you will keep me close

And rain will make me………. grow.

*****Nikki’s favorite song****



Two years ago, on this same date, I accepted your offer of lifetime commitment.  I was supposed to know better.  Before that day,  I  spent almost 6 1/2 years of my life with you waiting for such proposal.   A day prior, we had a great fight, the usual fight on dealing with priorities.  But, when you had to climb up of my window,  I  just couldn’t miss that chance I  had been waiting for….. That day was special,  you had set your priority, a commitment and  I gave you wholeheartedly, the best and the ONLY gift I can give you –  my heart.

 I cannot  remember feeling uncertain or even  terrified  of entering married life with you.  Though I  knew firsthand the hardships I had  being with you the whole boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.  I haven’t learned my lesson from my past  relationships.   And now I am allowing myself to be in a much deeper, much intimate relationship with you…… The answer was right  in front of me,  every time you gave me your time.   Seeing your face and hearing your voice was what made me turn my back on the possibility that you just might be the next heartbreak chapter of my life. I made that jump because I knew we’re in it together.   Ohh,  reality gave me a slap on the face.  Even if you’re still here, we will not be together anymore.
As much as I’d like to just be “okay” with everything concerning what  happened to you and me ,  I can’t help but be sad over the fact that  everything in that 6 1/2 years was  a mess, a relationship full of deceit, more on a one-sided love, and entailed a lot of sacrifices on my part…  it’s not even something that can be called friendship, i was just an ornament….that’s what I realized……if you’re  still here, the reason for our separation isn’t because you died or because you cheated on me.   It’s simpler, you’re not the one for me, I deserve someone better.   I cannot even begin writing about how painful and potentially incapacitating it was waking up each day when i learned about your accident,  it was a shock to know that few days before our marriage you are gone…. but there are more important things. One of those “things” for example, is the TRUTH.This is the truth:  You never loved me  as much as I thought you did.   I have  loved you MORE, but maybe  it wasn’t  enough.  You had to find someone, but still maybe, her love was not that enough too….
This is the reason why this things had happen, so I  can be free.   My  only comfort in my suffering is in knowing that I will always do the right thing for anyone.  No matter how strong my feelings are for you, I  won’t take you, only if i had known better.  Or maybe not!  -It’s my love for you that was  not enough….  Yes, maybe not enough.  If  my love was enough, I would’ve been with you until the last second before you were brought down to the grave.  Maybe, things would’ve been like that.  But, no..it was hatred, it was not love that I  had for you until your last minute on earth….
Today, I was able to speak the thoughts I  have always kept…..and this year,  the best and the ONLY gift I can give you wholeheartedly  to where you are is my unconditional forgiveness.  With it,  I give you my sincere apologies for whatever inconvenience my existence  had also brought you…..
From this point on, I will be nothing but grateful of what  we had and the relationship that we shared, for I  learned a lot.  For after the hurt and the pain I  had from you, someone had found me. Someone that will love me unconditionally, someone who is loyal and true to me, and never will make me feel the hurt and pain I  had from you.    I know from time to time you will be on my mind, only to remind me that i had been strong all this years and now, i continue  to move on.
 I will pray for your soul.    I know you will be a part of my  life forever by being the lesson I will NEVER forget.  I will  now open my heart to life’s endless possibilities……I have forgiven you.  I have let you go. I won’t look back.


et cetera