iamalexia











{01/02/2012}   the start…

Nearly 7 months of solitude, I chose to live my life just within the 4 corners of my room..this same room…haunted by the memories of my past.  I was in the status wherein I just do things I wanted within the confines of my room, staying depressed, hopeless, hurt, heartbroken, numb, alone, unable to move on…

I was living in the past, and I never used time to heal and move on…

Until that day,   and each day after January 31, 2011, my life started to change…  That day, this person that barely left my mind since then, came.   He had been a part of my daily routine. The first person I had in mind when I wake up and the last person in my mind before I sleep. Every day and night we communicate, we share thoughts, ideas, feelings, etc… Friendship, that was all he had to offer.  Both of us were mending broken hearts back then.  But those relationships were part of our pasts and we opted not to have much talk about it as much as possible.  I had a lot of issues to deal about and he was always there to listen and to give advice.   I don’t know but there was a lot I learned to what he have to say.  He’s someone that had lot of ideas;   ideas he consider silly and stupid most of the times, but for me, they’re actually not.   He also had a lot of problems, issues at work that he had to deal with…he opened up.  He told me his deepest secrets, painful memories and I was there to listen.  I never felt so helpless, I had nothing else to offer him but just staying to listen…..  As days passed by, simple thoughts of him automatically made me  smile that would be glued to my face for sometime.  I couldn’t help but daydream and thought of nothing but school will be over soon so that I can be home and we can again spend time together.  Our mobile phones were raining with messages and calls.

In few weeks, feelings grew more intense….thoughts of him, listening to his voice doesn’t just made me smile, my heart keeps on beating fast and I started to feel butterflies in my tummy.   Then I started to ask myself, ‘ is this LOVE i’m feeling again?’, if yes, “am I ready for this?’, ‘is he feeling the same?’ and a lot of  ’what if’s’….nevertheless, he has to know.     ‘I am falling in love to this man!!’.   He had the same feelings but he had to use his mind. He also had a lot of questions, hesitations- afraid of being hurt again.    A ‘long-distance-network-dependent- relationship?’– will it work?   But in spite of all the questions,heart over mind-mind over heart thing, scales of 1-10, doubts, fears, all the ‘what if’s ‘ we could ever think of, we jumped into this so called ‘relationship’.

Yeah, that’s how it all started.  A slow then strong intimate  harmony had been developed.   It’s funny how two people who were hurt by love found another love by accident,  how we “wasted” our time with others who didn’t appreciate us or it just didn’t work out.  But the awesome part is when you finally understand the universe’s plan and you start making the correct decisions with the correct people.   I just knew he is the ONE…..

Advertisements


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: