{13/03/2012}   my words

For me, words mean a lot more than actions.

To me,  the words you say,   you said them because you thought of it, you felt it  and you want to share it with me.  Every word you utter  contains an emotion,  an energy.   It is either an encouragement or discouragement.
With words,  you do not have to guess over and over again,  what it could have meant.
I cherish every word that each person has spoken to me.  They are inspiring, magical, and together, they paint a beautiful picture that can warm the heart.

For you,  however…actions means more.  Words mean nothing to you.

That is our difference. The things I do and did not do,  is what hurts you most.   But the things you said and failed to say,  are those that  hurts me the most too.

I’m sorry for the things I never did.  But my apologies would not  mean anything to you,  because they’re only just words.  But the words I uttered comes from my innermost being.  The truth within me, the fear, the love, the hatred, everything,  I said  because those are what I really felt.

Actions of people around me gave me so much pain.   Some would just pretend to do things but deep inside…. that is not how they feel.   He  showed me and tried to prove me he wanted me,  by what?  Forcing himself to me?! Actions that brought me into this misery!

Funny thing though, people that hurt me  never did anything to apologize to me.   Guess they just did not think they did  something wrong to me.


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