{27/04/2012}   saying goodbye….

Saying goodbye…

takes many forms, from the seemingly insignificant “see you later” to the gut-wrenching realization that someone who made an imprint on your life has vanished forever…

Most of the time, goodbye is said with our words but not with our heart.   We end a relationship by trying to make it clear that we no longer want what once was, but no matter how sure we are of our decision, we still fall victim to the triggers that entice us to to rekindle a hello.   It can be a song, a voice, a chance encounter, a memory, a dream.   It may only last an instant or it may overwhelm our thoughts for awhile, but we find ourselves blocking out the reasons why the goodbye was needed, blocking out the hurt, blocking out the reality, blocking out the finality of the goodbye….

I never look forward for such moment… I dread it, tried to avoid it as much as possible because I am afraid of being hurt, because I have gone through a lot of it.  And yes, most of those times I was not ready.   They left, every one left, you left…….

I cried….

Tired of being left…

Tired of hearing goodbyes…

It’s time to do the leaving….


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