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{12/12/2011}   inner peace

Beats of creation cascade through our bodies within an ever- rising crescendo as we keep in synchronicity with the frantic pace of existence. Life is beautiful, present and volatile an exquisite release that makes us move forward. Yet in every life sudden cracks appear that we need to bridge so that our natural luminescence remains flowing. Each of our lives commands attention from us first and foremost -and then from others. The selfishness of our personal well being must be the first prayer when we awake and our last when the day ends. Peace unto ourselves must be the supreme fact that drives our existence. It’s only then that the world around us becomes calm.

Today let me make that promise to myself….

And let me not forget that promises are sometimes kept…can be kept…must be kept….


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{09/12/2011}   loneliness

Loneliness is a lifestyle…

it’s one with no choice.

One spent in denial,

living life with no voice…

 

It’s a life spent in darkness..

just full of regrets and sadness.

 

It’s a life spent in pain..

a life left unseen.

Constant struggles in vain,

just to prove where i’ve been..

 

Always thought i was alone,

and that would never change…

Then,i found you,err..you found me 🙂

and everything had changed..

 

Now,I always have someone, no longer alone…

It’s not  loneliness anymore, but happiness forever more…

 

˜*•. ˜”*°•.˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜ .•*˜

‘HAPPINESS can be found even in the darkest of times,

if one only will remember to just turn on the light..”

˜*•. ˜”*°•.˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜ .•*˜

English: Loneliness of Life EP Cover

Image via Wikipedia



{09/12/2011}   i remember that You care

by Paula Alexia Peterson on Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 10:12pm

 When i think that i’m alone in the middle of the night….

When I just had an awful dream and i’m shivering with fright.

I am on bed alone and scared, wondering if anyone care.

Looking into my heart, I always find you there.

 

Sometimes life is just too hard, I had to get away…

I need someone to talk to,who will listen to what I say.

Someone who will let me know, someone  will always be there.

When I can’t find someone, I remember that you care.

 

When there is nowhere else to go, I can always come to you.

You promised that you’ll be there each time i needed you.

I’m sure I can find You if i take the time for prayer.

When the whole world seem to hate me, I remember that you care.




{09/12/2011}   i don’t understand
 by Paula Alexia Peterson on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 12:48am (a facebook note)

i don’t understand why i can sleep easily all day long but cry myself to sleep at night..

how others can assert themselves while i cannot.

how my best friends became far apart from me because of just one person who at the end turned out to be my worst nightmare.

how dreams can be shattered in one split second by someone evil..

how time flies so fast that i wish i can turn it back.

how  the people i wanted to spend every second with…now i feel a few minutes of time is too much to spare..i couldn’t stand too much questions..

why i can’t be understood…i’m hurting right now, things are not easy for a weakling like me..

How i can let go of something/ someone i couldn’t live without…

how words come out so easily when i’m hurting or i’m mad,and regret that i couln’t take it back..

how even though i know something is best for me, it still hurts just the same..

why i think erasing people from my life is easier than working things out..

why i made a promise despite knowing it would be hard for me to keep…

why i am still breathing when i’m no longer alive..

i don’t understand..



Someone asked me this question:

“What is your reason to be happy?” –i just felt i had a lot of reasons to share…..

my reason starts upon waking up each morning (though after a bad dream)…that i am still alive. no matter how bad things were the past day/my dream was, each time i wake up i still thank God i woke up.

I don’t usually wake up with with a ready smile on my face… getting out of bed almost immediately,cramming,and striding through my day having to face any problems and challenges that may arise..ohh, If i want to be full of gloom then i just keep at the negative thoughts, stay in bed wandering why the world doesn’t just stop spinning and get it over with. …why should i choose to be gloomy when i still have more and more reasons to be happy.

i have my family:the people i love, i care,i needed….(mom,lukas,dad)….isn’t that enough reason i got these people who truly loves and cares for me??the same people i know are happy of my existence….i need not enumerate how their simple words and actions makes me realize how much they do love me.but i know they do.they make me happy…

i have a fulfilling job…i get to do things i really love doing.I am very happy being surrounded by these little angels(should this be another reason aside from my work). Their smiles, their innocent words and stares, their little acts of showing love and respect..they sure melt my heart…oh kids, i love kids–looking forward for my own….well, back to my work…lot of people don’t have any,wherein they got to worry where to get finances for their needs..i have it …and i should be happy for that.

i have dreams,wishes and hopes...

I have something good to look forward to…i have even my wildest, most outrageous dreams that gives me hope. I am looking forward to that holiday by the beach in Bali,playing tennis with my baby,moving out and settling to his place,my dream wedding,honeymoon in Paris,married life, doing what a responsible wife should to my husband and mother to my kids,raise the kids well,see the kids grow, be with my kids as they fulfill their dreams, have grandchildren,grow old with my Lukas…isn’t this something to be cheerful about?

Focus on the good times that lie ahead, and start working towards making them a reality coz no one wants to willingly live in misery and despair for the rest of their days..

good health….

I complained for minor pains like upset stomach,headache,difficulty of breathing, i got asthma, i got nose bleeding, rhinitis….But i can say that i am still reasonably healthy.Lot of people have major illness, others are terminally ill..I’ve seen Nikki fought leukemia,i saw the glimmer of life within her,no matter how dull,still there was..

But, i can say my life is better, i have good health…i’m embracing it as a good reason to be cheerful and happy…

 

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” -Unknown



et cetera