iamalexia











{23/04/2012}   i hope i don’t wake up

i hope i don't wake up

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We all know that being alone is sad.
But being alone is better than to have someone who makes you feel alone.

                  


{21/04/2012}   first love



{20/04/2012}   The loneliness …

The loneliness of nights alone
the search for strength to carry on
my every hope has seemed to die
my eyes had no more tears to cry
then like the sun shining up above
you surrounded me with your endless love
Coz all the things I couldn’t see are now so clear to me
You are my everything
Nothing your love won’t bring
My life is yours alone

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{18/04/2012}   this is me…



{17/04/2012}   sick….

I Need a Doctor

the feeling when you are sick and you got no one……

” Mother, mother, I feel sick,
Send for the doctor quick, quick, quick.
Doctor, doctor, shall I die?
Yes, my dear, and so shall I.
How many carriages shall I have?
One! Two! Three! Four!”



{14/04/2012}   a re-post from a victim

I see rape jokes on a blog site.

Why do people  think rape is something to joke about?

Stop and think of the person raped.

Do you even know what that feels like?

You feel disgusting, you feel used, you feel dirty.

Sometimes you even feel like it’s your fault.

Sometimes you feel like life is not even worth living anymore.

Sometimes you end up pregnant.

You never knew how it feels being threatened and harassed by rapist’s friends and family. You never knew the feeling of being laughed at, exposed and being called a liar.

Keeping  feelings,  inconsistencies,  emotional build up a secret serves most victims  good.   Although it is unhealthy,  and it would only serve to further degrade  existence further than even waking up with a guy inside one’s vagina that YOU DID NOT give consent for.   It is still the victims choice whether to keep it a secret.  To choose the persons she wanted to open up.

And why on blogs?    Because, awkwardly enough, there  had  been more support and friendship and clarity from people  you have  never even  met through  blogs than those you have had in real life.   And on top of that-  you have the option to cover up your identity as most people do.

F*cking think before you post on a joke or even talk about the person herself…



{14/04/2012}   The concept of Privacy

I  am not sure some people get the concept of privacy.    Recently,  I learned that the person so close to me, the person I trusted to protect me, the person I entrusted with my whole life which is, well, relatively sensitive.  My life is so  FILLED with sensitive information.

I’m not sure if it was that apparent to him.   Why do you ask that I assume this? He  had the nerve to expose part of this sensitive life to his  friend,  whom I am not acquainted with,  nor  do I like to be acquainted very much at all.  On top of this,  my feelings, my fear of thoughts on others head,  the way I look down to myself  had not been considered.   This is a piss-off to me.



{11/04/2012}   i’m not here

Of course everyone acts like I don’t mean a damn thing to them.  Well that’s cool.   Seriously, why say you will be there if you aren’t gonna be there? Honestly,  just take me out of your life if  you’re just gonna leave behind and ignore me.  Are all this trying to teach me to be alone because thats what it seems like to me?

Being ignored, I’m not here, I don’t exist, I’m not good enough, don’t bother with me, no don’t talk to me, don’t hear me, I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here, I’M DEAD!



You are worth so much more than what your mind tries to convince you.

You are so much more beautiful than the lie you see when you look in the mirror.

You are deserving of so much more kindness than the painful words that have been spoken to you from the mouths of people who were supposed to be your friends.

You are infinitely valuable & deserving of so much more than you let yourself believe.

I pray you will see it soon, & I pray that you will never, ever forget it.

I pray every day of your life you will be reminded of your own value, your own incredible purpose for being here.

It’s critical that you know how unbelievably precious you really are, and that you know it right now. You are loved. Fight this for those who love you, but above all, fight for yourself, because

You

are

worth

fighting for….

 

 

*thank you, jessica…

 

 



et cetera