iamalexia











{16/02/2012}   no words…

. There is no word for this kind of relationship; two people who don’t see each other,  but can make each other effortlessly happy.  This is a matter of choice….there may be a lot of guys i know and gals around you, still we choose each other that is thousand of miles away and yet, no regrets about it.

What I know and what other people always tell me is – I have to be mature to have a long distance relationship.  Funny thing is, when you get to know me, you’ll know I’m not mature, yet I am in a long distance relationship.

I hate the distance so much.  I really wished it wasn’t there.  I’d give just about anything to be able to see my boyfriend whenever I wanted.  I just still can’t though, and that’s just reality.

Sometimes I have to be careful though, because occasionally I can project my hate of the distance onto him.  I get angry and just upset at the fact that he can’t be with me, that he don’t have much time for me and I get mad at him, even though I know it’s not his fault.  Then most times there’s the wave of anxiety and paranoia.  That even trust is not enought to get rid of it.  So, irrational and immature at times but…

You know,  I do have my days where I think that being in a long distance relationship sucks and it’s pretty dang horrible.    But everytime I got a chance to talk to him, for some reason I’m really happy.   Thinking  on the ldr tag is making me depressed.    So I’m not going to think of  it.   I’m HAPPY.   Who the hell cares if  we still can’t see each other in another 2- 5 months?

We  know that there is a reason why it has still to be this way….                           The man that I’m going to spend my life with is working hard so that he can have enough  and we can start our life together. Instead of moping around and wishing I was with him (which I do) I should do something about it and stop my whining.

No matter what, I want you to know I am happy… I am happy that you’ve stayed.

From the day I fell in love with you, it never faded.   My love for you didn’t stop, even a single second of my life.  It flourished, and became more intense. Our relationship dug deeper, and grew stronger. From then on, I realized that it was you who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I vow to sing my life with you, and to love you. I want to live this world with you, no matter how cruel it is.  I want to be your wife, to be your best friend, your partner, your better half;  your everything.  I vow to be faithful to you, to be honest, and to lower down my pride for our pointless quarrels. I want to establish a family with you;  to reach your goals with me.  I vow to love you, according to what God said.  I won’t leave you at any cost.  You know how much I love you, and I will stay in love with you.   For more years to come….I LOVE YOU BABY!

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 Two different languages, time zones, continents, and cultures.  Sometimes, I am surprised we made it this far….we were the exact opposite of each other.   Our simple talks will usually end up to misunderstandings but somehow, we always find some ways to win each other back.

This relationship went from normal distance relationship, to long distance relationship, to medium distance relationship,  and soon to long distance relationship again… The distance may suck, but in the time apart,  I fall in love with him more and more each and every day.  I love thinking about him.  He makes me happy.    When you love someone,  you want to be with him/her whenever you can.  But when you can’t be together because of distance and circumstances,  you cherish those moments that much more because you don’t know when you’ll see each other.

Yes,  since the start of this relationship we wished to see and meet each other.  Distance was not much of a problem but most of the times it’s the circumstances.  There seem to be a strong  unknown force that stops us from being together.     Every time things were set for us to meet – something happens.   Granny’s sudden death on April, he’s flight home after plan A-E on May, that incident that leads to all these since day 1 of June,  the typhoon,  Lola Mamang… and so on….Things had not been that easy for us.   There was a time that  I said, we are like parallel lines….we won’t meet.   But there were dad’s words to console- ” Parallel lines may not meet, but they can be close, side-by-side, together.”

We just hold on to believing that someday we will be together… because we’re meant to be together, that’s our fate, our destiny…

 




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